Dreaming Like A Fool

Sometimes dreams can make fools of us and sometimes dreams can push us to a life we want.
In the age of the internet, we constantly see people who are living their lives to the fullest. They’ve made successful careers, entrepreneurships, travel, have a picture-perfect home, and so on. Some of them had advantages that we may not, others started about where we are. Regardless of how they got there, it can seem to the rest of us to be an impossible dream.
Should we make fools of ourselves until we can find a way to bring our dreams to life? Is that what everyone else is doing?

As an artist, I want to make a living doing what I love. Instead, it’s treated more as a hobby. I can’t afford to quit my day job to create art all day. Nor do I always feel motivated enough after work to work on my art. My job leaves me feeling mentally drained. On top of that, I’m now stuck with a shift that leaves me getting home later in the day. I still have a family to care for and I still have to wake up early in the morning. I’d consider working on my art in the mornings, but let’s be real here: I’d never get to the regular job remotely on time if I did that.
Still, I do what I can when I can.

This feeling of not knowing how to get from point fuckthisjob to point gettingpaidtoart is one of frustration. I could do an online store! But marketing is not a skill that I am adept at even with the use of social media.
Regardless, I’m still trying. I recently moved from Teespring to Redbubble as AlviniaBear. It was recommended to me by a coworker whose friend uses it. There are more features to protect my designs and more products available to sell. My Teespring store is still available under Art by Alvinia for now, although I plan to remove it eventually. I have a Facebook page for my art and I’m on Curensea.
I also used to sell handmade jewelry locally. It was a learning experience. While I love making jewelry, it is expensive to do so and I realized pretty quickly that I was underpricing my work. I hope to get back into that side business once I can afford to make the investment in supplies.

Another thing I have considered is local events. Problem for me? A: There are often fees that I can’t always afford. B: These usually occur on weekends/ evenings while I am scheduled to work. I only have so many days available to request off and I also have a child that has music programs/ appointments/ holidays to spend with/ et cetera. I’m still keeping an eye out. Surely, I’ll find an opportunity that works for my life! Hopefully…

This living the life I want is difficult to achieve. I’m not there yet and can only hope I will be someday. But, hey, nobody ever said it would be easy. (Well, except some people on the internet. Liars.) I’m still figuring it out and feeling like a fool while I do so. Even just knowing that I am doing what I know I can is rewarding.

The purpose of this post isn’t just to complain about how hard it is, it’s to let others like me know that you are not alone. Don’t give up on your dreams. Maybe you’re not where you need to be just yet. Maybe life and responsibilities get in the way. But keep trying even if you feel ridiculous. If nothing else, at least you’ll be able to say that you did that much.


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