These are a couple of paraphrased comments that a few people have made regarding my family. I get it. It’s unusual to see a family with both parents and a child who are all transgender. As one person who made one of the above comments later put it, “Well, it’s none of anyone’s business, anyway.” She was just confused about how it happened like that and had felt comfortable asking.
The truth of the matter is, we can’t explain how it worked out that way. It’s the luck of the draw and I guess my family is special like that (insert awkward laughter). One thing that I want to set straight, first and foremost, is that my wife and I weren’t out yet as transgender when our child came out to us. Although we knew about each other, we were afraid that coming out could negatively affect our kid. Society had led us to believe that it was better to continue pretending to be a cis-het couple, masquerading as the genders we were assigned at birth.
It was when the kiddo, a pre-teen at the time, came out as trans that we realized we were being hypocrites. All of the times we’d told our child to be theirself and to accept others, we weren’t being true to ourselves. What would it teach our kid if they found out we’d been staying in the closet the entire time? Even worse, what would it say about us if we didn’t accept them as they are?
So, no, we didn’t somehow confuse our child and we definitely didn’t push it on them. In fact, we were scared for our child when they came out to us. I didn’t want to believe it, because I know that it’s not easy. I know that transgender youth are more likely to attempt suicide without gender affirming care, and that getting such care isn’t an easy process even for adults. The bullies and fascists that exist in society who push transphobia make it even more difficult. It’s unfortunate that the times we are living in are rife with ignorance and hatred toward the transgender community. I’m not sure if I know how to protect my child from that while still allowing them to explore their identity and be theirself. But, I have to try because I won’t allow my teenager to become another statistic.
As scared as I am for my child’s future, I want them to be happy and comfortable with who they are. I don’t want my kid trying to play a role in society that feels wrong to them. There will be those who don’t understand. There will be those who make assumptions. But we will love and accept our teen for whoever they grow to be.
You must be logged in to post a comment.